Blazing Before a Uni Test, What Could Go Wrong?

*Names are changed to maintain anonymity*

In Mass Communication, there’s always some sort drama no matter how hard you try to avoid it. I never believed any of the rumours before I started studying but when I finally enrolled in college, I got into a shit-storm of drama myself. Marijoinlah aided me in tuning out all the stresses and unnecessary drama caused by assholes. I was functional, receptive, and tolerant no matter how strained and insane things had gotten.

Dog Marijoinlah

Yep, this was me

During my first few semesters as a student, I went through this phase where I was blazed 24/7. People tend to think I blaze a lot now, but I used to blaze way more often back then. A lighter sized brick of Marijoinlah only lasted me a day or 2 days max, I’d breathe in smoke like it was oxygen. I was engulfed in a foggy cloud of euphoria, neutral to all the bullshit life had to offer.

Marijoinlah Girl

However, I never dared going to a test blazed until I saw my friend freaking out over a test. This wasn’t just any test, it was Mass Comm Theories test and the lecturer had a reputation for failing her students with heavy workload assignments and super difficult tests. Even on the first day of class, she mentioned that everyone would fail and only a few will pass. My friend, let’s call her Beyonce’ (because she looks like Beyonce’ and she’s black) was panicking on the day of the awaited gut-wrenching test. In order to calm her down, I had this bright idea of getting baked. I suggested that we get baked and try to study before the test began. She agreed so I brought her to my hostel.

As soon as I opened the door, Beyonce’ had a huge smile on her face. She saw the grinded Marijoinlah on my table, next to this gorgeous apparatus to take hits from (I always had grinded Marijoinlah readily available on the table next to this beautiful apparatus for impromptu sessions in my hostel.) We sat down on the floor facing each other, I placed the apparatus down, packed the bowl and took the first hit. I had notes put next to me for us to study afterwards.


How I was told it would work

We passed the apparatus back and forth, taking hits until we reached a certain level that we were comfortable with. Beyonce’ stopped after a few hits and started taking selfies (she likes to take selfies when she’s baked lol) I kept going while reading the notes loudly in an attempt to make her focus. It didn’t work, she continued taking selfies then she crawled her ass on my bed then fell asleep.

Fuck, we’re screwed,” I thought, since we only had 20 minutes left until the test. I shook her like the hulk and woke her up, she started to feel paranoid. “I don’t think I can do this man, I’m just gonna stay here where it’s safe” Beyonce mumbled. I responded, “Oh no girl, you gotta get through this, we have a test!” I dragged her baked paranoid ass outside and somehow managed our way to class. She was a complete lightweight.

We showed up to class just in time for the test, everyone took their seats as our lecturer came in. Ms. A kept looking at us, particularly at me. I had a huge grin on my face because I tried my best not to laugh at Beyonce. Her face was so obvious and she kept looking down, trying to pretend to be normal. She was totally blazed, it was written all over her face.

Out Cold

Out Cold

Ms. A broke her silence and focused on me, I think she knew that what was happening (I later found out in my last semester that she’s a Marijoinlah head too) then she said, “Look everyone, look at her, just look at her face! She’s so happy and confident that she’s going to ace this test” I was baked out of my mind, I turned around, facing everyone and then I said, “Damn right, I’m gonna ace this test.” Ms. A seemed amused and started handing out the test to every table. Beyonce was asleep at this point, there wasn’t much I could do for her. I had a test to answer.

I read the questions and gradually, I recalled all the notes I had revised before. The answers came to me naturally while I tried to fight the munchies, (I couldn’t stop thinking about cheesy wedges and fried chicken from KFC) but I resisted anyway. After about an hour, the test was done. “Time’s up, now switch your tests with the person next to you, we go through the answers and mark them together” said Ms. A.

I wanted to switch with Beyonce but she was still asleep so I ended up switching my test with someone else. After we finished marking, I got my test back and I was shocked. I got 8/10. Most of the class got 0 or 2/10 and there was only one girl besides me who got 8/10 as well. I couldn’t believe it and Ms. A kept looking at me, it’s like she was reading my mind.

Beyonce finally woke up and said “never again, never” while looking at me as we were leaving class. I was speechless and I suggested we go to KFC afterwards. After all, I deserve to reward myself with Kentucky Fried Chicken. I aced the freaking test man.

Marijoinlah Chicken

 Fried Chicken is True Love



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