*Names have been changed to maintain anonymity*
My first edible experience. I remember, I was an eager 18 year old, all wide eyed and excited to try my first batch of specially made brownies. My friend suggested that we order a whole box from this dude in college. Both of us chipped in whatever we have left, considering we were broke ass students. Anxious and fired up, we met with this sketchy bloke wearing a cap that had a Marijoinlah logo on it. It was easily noticeable, and from how he looked, he wasn’t afraid to let others know that he’s an avid Marijoinlah user.
He saw us walking towards him and gave us a nod. I put the cash in my hand and passed it to him as we shook hands, then, he gave the freshly made box of brownies to my friend. “Be careful with how much you eat them, they’re really strong bro,” he warned us as he left. After the whole operation went down, I felt like a secret double agent. “Man, I’m so sleek,” I boasted, then Juju later told me it was damn obvious I was passing him cash in broad daylight. I looked at the box and I smirked because it had “Made with care and love” written on it. I had high expectations since I’ve heard tales of how strong edibles could be compared to a good ol’ regular J.
Both of us sat down and ate the brownies one by one. We timed each other every hour and as time went by, I felt a light buzz. But that was it. Eventually, we finished the brownies and stared at each other in despair. We didn’t get the experience we had anticipated for, It’s either that or the brownies were made with schwag. We were ripped off! From then on, I underestimated the power of edibles which led me to…
The story of how I felt like I was going to die watching Star Wars in the cinema due to eating too much brownies. Yup, you read that right.
This second time around, I bought brownies from someone else. It was from this cool chick who had a calm enigmatic demeanor. She warned me, not to eat them all at once but since my previous experience were weak, I didn’t take her word for it. Big mistake, bro.
As soon as I picked them up, I gorged down the brownies, munching on like a chipmunk as my friend, Sarah, drove us around town. She had no idea I was eating special brownies and I didn’t give her any. I just said she shouldn’t eat them because there’s a special medicine in it particularly for menstrual pain that could make her dizzy. Well, I told her the partial truth. Marijoinlah does eases menstrual cramps after all. That’s all she needed to know.
Sarah is a peach, her innocence and naivety is incomprehensible in today’s world. She knows nothing about Marijoinlah and she especially has no idea that I’m a Marijoinlah head. I’m that sleek, ceh. After about 30 minutes went by, the brownies kicked in and that was the point of no return. According to Urban Dictionary, dun goofed up means when you have committed an act in which "consequences will never be the same again." So yeah, I dun goofed up. Big time.
Sarah looked at me and asked if I was alright because I acted really odd. I had the biggest grin on my face that I couldn’t wipe off, my eyes were red and any Marijoinlah head would know what’s up. But not Sarah, she thought I was just extremely elated to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens. She parked her car and when we got inside the mall, KFC immediately caught my eyes. “Wei, makan KFC jom” I blurted out as I gleefully ran towards my happy place. After Sarah witnessed me eating chicken like a maniac, we headed to the cinema and bought tickets to see the movie. I had no idea of what I was going to experience next and oh boy, I was in for a hell of a ride.
KFC and Marijoinlah.....divine combination
We got to our seats and I felt like the whole place was vibrating. I was able to keep my cool during the commercials… but when the movie started, it felt like the whole place had an earth quake. Not even exaggerating. I flinched so many times when I heard lasers being blasted in the movie that the poor guy sitting next to me, glared at me. I didn’t care, I was doing my best not to flip out. But that was a failed attempt since I repetitively kept dodging whenever a spaceship was flying towards the screen.
My heart was beating like a fast paced drum, my palms were sweating and it felt like I was inside an aeroplane crashing down. I was gripping to my seat the entire time, it was worse than a rollercoaster ride. I legit thought this was how I was going to die, and I even started picturing the news reporting my untimely death. “Girl died because of too much brownies and found dead in the cinema watching Star Wars”
Sarah was too busy focusing on the movie to even notice how totally blazed I was. It’s either that or she just generally thinks I’m a weird person. I end up falling asleep throughout the movie and I had moments where I woke up and fell asleep again. Sarah woke me up when the movie ended and she seemed amused. “Pelik betul lah you ni, sampai boleh tertidur tengok Star Wars” said Sarah, as I giggled in relief because it was finally over. God answered my prayers.
I survived. I didn’t die.
Lessons learnt; don’t eat edibles all at once, instead, time and pace yourself as each hour goes by. Most importantly, make sure that you’re in a safe and comfortable environment with people who you can trust. I’m definitely careful with how I consume edibles from now on.
To this day, I’m still amazed at how I went through that ordeal and how Sarah still remains in her innocent little bubble.
Nonetheless, brownies are amazing if you’re thinking of maintaining that stable state of mind, while not raising suspicions in public. You know the kind of suspicions raised when you’re sneaking around a J in public and people around you are going...