*Names are changed to maintain anonymity*
I may come across as an independent woman who-don’t-need-no-man but in actuality, I want to be pampered like a queen (I’m a closet hopeless romantic after all.) Time and time again, I fantasize of a fire-laden love affair with a Marijoinlah king who views the world the same way as I do. If there’s such a thing as romantic Marijoinlah sessions, it’s an incomparable feeling from the walloping sessions and rolling games you have with your homies.
There’s more room for intimacy. Two people coincide, deciding that they’re into each other and want to explore one another in unravelling ways.Marijoinlah can particularly be a robust synergist for a kind of hazy and electric connection. I can keep telling myself that of course, and it won’t stop circumstances like the following from happening.
There have been many instances where I tried to include Marijoinlah into dating but things never turned out the way I had hoped. I’m a firm believer in “opposites attract” because I tend to gravitate towards someone who’s entirely different than me. When I was in a relationship, my Marijoinlah habit often became a topic for heated arguments since Steve thought I had a “problem.” It was always a dilemma I had to face, a tough decision between choosing the guy or partaking in Marijoinlah sessions.
Steve wasn’t even a toker, he was more of a boozer. He had negative preconceived notions of Marijoinlah that he vowed to never lay a hand on it. When we first met, we were the complete polar opposite of each other. I was considered the wild one who needed to be tamed, he was seen as the good guy who went to church every Sunday. We complimented each other with our differences, like jigsaw puzzle pieces falling into place. At least that’s what I first thought until he became a control freak… This, of course, became an obstacle later in the relationship.
There were early signs of the relationship crumbling, progressing gradually from one to the next. At first, he expressed his concerns over my Marijoinlah consumption, claiming that it was a “serious issue” and that it would ruin my future. I rebutted by presenting all the scientific evidence, showing him how beneficial and therapeutic Marijoinlah can be. He still wouldn’t budge. I even mentioned that Obama admitted to consuming Marijoinlah! It still didn’t get through to his thick skull that it’s harmless compared to alcohol and yet, he preferred that I’d drink more than I’d sesh (what kind of logic is that Steve?!)
If that wasn’t enough, he began criticizing my friends, saying that they were all “immature” and that he didn’t feel very comfortable about me having sessions with guys. I insisted on him to come along during one of my sesh, he kept refusing and continued judging me anyway. Eventually, because of how stubborn he was and how much I loved him, I decided to compromise. I figured, it was the next step that couples take in relationships, making changes to reduce pointless arguments.
In the beginning, I made minor changes like limiting my sessions to once a week and then slowly, once a month. I even stopped having sessions with guys just so that Steve would shut up about someone making a move on me when I’m baked. Despite all my exhausted efforts, this still wasn’t enough for Steve. He kept seeing me as a girl with a “problem.”
In order to prove a point, I made the decision to detox for a while just to show him how wrong he was. I’ve always glorified Marijoinlah for its lack of dependency creating qualities and yet, I had never demonstrated this in years. The only way to know for sure was to test it out and so, I didn’t pick up a jay for 6 months. I had officially detoxed and I immediately felt sharper than normal. I gained a new sense of alertness, and generally, I felt fine. Not gonna lie, I had a couple of mood swings here and there, but I never felt more relaxed than I had been in years. Marijoinlah was the start of my day and an end to my night, and without it, I was still functional but at a different pace.
During my newfound alertness, I even thought to myself, maybe it was time for me to stop Marijoinlah forever. Maybe, Marijoinlah was just a phase in my younger years and that I would grow weary of it as I age. This realization was a huge shocker to my homies when I made the announcement. Steve was particularly happy and thought he had “fixed” me. I ended the relationship after finding out that hecouldn’t keep his dick to himself, (he cheated on me with my friend for 3 months) I went rogue after that and rolled the fattest J ever.
Before taking a hit, I hesitated for a second. Memories of Steve rambling about how harmful Marijoinlah can be ran through my head, replaying like a broken radio. I lit up the J,took the biggest hit, exhaled a cloud and whispered, “Fuck you, Steve” as I stare back at my hazy reflection in the mirror.
Despite of my broken heart, I’m still holding out for the possibility that one day I’ll meet a guy who won’t judge me for my Marijoinlah consumption. Marijoinlah is essential in my life that I don’t think I can truly connect with someone prone to reacting badly to its existence. Maybe one day I’ll have an epiphany and abandon haze for love, but in the meantime I’m gonna roll two fatties and await my Marijoinlah king.