9 Ways to be the Greatest Functional Connoisseur

Urban Dictionary definition;

person who gets blazed with a certain amount of Marijoinlah but however, he or she is still at their full capacity to do certain tasks without an issue. A functional connoisseur can go to work or a public place and act completely normal as if they're in regular state of mind.


Stereotypically, connoisseurs are seen in sort of a negative light. For many people, blazing actually turns them into more productive, useful human beings, and it can even make them happier. 


1. Moderation B**tches

For me, I limit my blazing from about early evening to around night time. This way, I’m able to do everything during the day to my full potential and with full motivation.




2. Do Not Let Yourself Become a Vegetable (not even a cutecumber)

Go outside, work out, do something productive, really anything other than sitting on the couch watching GOT. While there are times for this, do not let yourself fall into the habit of rolling one and then potato-ing on the couch



3. Stay Social!

Make friends with all types of people. If you only have low-functioning cake friends, you're going to get trapped. It is extremely useful to have a high-functioning partner, that way you can keep yourself in check.


4. Know Your Limits Bruh.

If you are getting ripped out of your mind, you aren't going to be able to do anything. Just like you wouldn't drink 10 shots of espresso if you're trying to focus on some homework, you don't want to light a 2g blunt.



5. When Not to Session

Do not blaze before a test, a job interview, or when you are doing something important that it could stand in the way of. Most jobs also are not good for being baked. Unless you have a job you are 100% sure you can do blazed, DO NOT.


6. Do Not Use it As An Escape

You should be getting with the community to improve the great experiences you are having. It should accent your life, not stand in the way of it. These are tough questions, but ask yourself this, "Why do you session?"


Researchers found clay pipes with traces of leaves in the garden of Shakespeare’s home in Stratford-on-Avon, which have been dated to the 17th century, contemporary with Shakespeare himself.


7. Stay Clean

Keep your house/apartment/room clean. Wash your glass regularly! A great Malaysian product to use would be Bing! Trust us, your glass will taste and work way better. Walking in on a room filled with Marijoinlah remains and remnants, is a lot like walking in a room with empty alcohol bottles laying around; it just looks sad.


8. To All Men and Women

Don't overwhelm women you like with too much Marijoinlah. Women typically don't blaze like men do. To the women: blaze a ton around the dudes you like if they do, that’s super hot.

Stoner Couple


9. Treat Yoself

This is a classic one. I personally love to reward myself with a beautifully rolled J, my favourite are the flavoured Juicy Rolls because of that fine fine taste. Do all the chores and get any work that needs to be done first. You might want to set some goals for you to unlock your rolled reward too. Once you achieve that goal, you can bask in all your glory and enjoy that wrap. This definitely has made me way more productive.



I am sure there are many other things you can do to be functional and if you'd like to add anything put it in the comments! I'd love to hear what you think or disagree.


Lovin all,

Shiva Skunk

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1 comment

  • Muchas gracias. ?Como puedo iniciar sesion?


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