I remember in the early days as a rookie Marijoinlah aficionado, I often felt awkward and out of place during sessions. Meeting groups of people, session after session, I’ve come across diverse folks that I had clicked with instantly, and for the most part, dealt with people who I just couldn’t vibe with.
Luckily, after my fair share of cringe-worthy and awkward moments, I have found my kind of people to enjoy the wonders of Marijoinlah. The strongest friendships were formed, we’ve bonded and it’s like we’re soulmates! The best conversations tend to happen with Marijoinlah, you know like how the saying goes, “great minds think alike.”
Based on my experience over the years, let me tell you the types of Marijoinlah users I’ve met.
TYPE 1# The Poyo ones or self-proclaimed “experts” of Marijoinlah
I’m a rebel, or at least, a rebel in my own world. I like to do things my own way, however and whichever, I see fit. So, when someone tells me a “step by step guide” on how to chill during a Marijoinlah session, I get annoyed. To me, Marijoinlah is universal and there are numerous ways to enjoy it. It differs from person to person, it’s not limited and there’s a variety of choices available for anyone to adopt. I’m always keen to try and experiment different methods as I meet more people. But, when someone criticizes me for doing things differently and then proceeds on restricting me, it kills the mood entirely. Another mood killer, is when these so called “experts” won’t shut up about how long they’ve been consuming and that their knowledge on Marijoinlah is superior compared to others just because they want to prove a point in an attempt to look cool. We all come for sessions to chill, man, not to hear you brag… Seriously, no one cares. Just roll it up and blaze.
TYPE 2# The Engineer
Desperate times, calls for desperate measures. When you and your homies have nothing to consume Marijoinlah with during a session, there’s always that one dude or dudette who provides a solution. He or she would find the simplest everyday household items and create something amazing right before our eyes. We would sit in awe and witness as they craft equipment out of things we hadn’t even deemed possible. They suddenly become engineers and it saves us all the heartache and worrying. They are our saviors, God bless them.
TYPE 3# The Cool Marijoinlah Chick
She has cool piercings and she could roll a fatty J in less than 2 minutes. She probably couldn’t care less of what anyone thinks of her and she’s always down for a new adventure. She’s not the type to lose her composure and even if she does, it’s usually for a good reason. She’s so understanding that you don’t even need to explain yourself to her, she just gets it. She can effortlessly outdo anyone during a session and look graceful while she’s at it. She has spectacular taste in music and a great sense of humour too, always cracking jokes and showing the funniest videos on Youtube. She’s often surrounded by admirers, but as soon as she senses insincerity and fakeness, she would keep her distance from such fake people because that’s just how she rolls. She’s the realest, most down to earth person you’d ever meet.
TYPE 4# The Yoda
During one of the many sessions I’ve had, I was lucky enough to meet this funny character. For the sake of his anonymity, I’m gonna call him Yoda. Why ‘Yoda’ you ask? Well, it’s because whenever we have a session together, he would start talking like Yoda. No joke.
Hungry… you are” said Yoda, as he stared at me when we both had the munchies and then proceeded on making our way to McDonald’s for chicken nuggets.
TYPE 5# The Wannabe Strong Hitter
This person is usually a light-weight. He would insist on taking the strongest hits and then boast about how well he could take it over and over again, only to cough uncontrollably for a few minutes and then say “I’m good, bro.” or fall asleep immediately right after a few rounds.
TYPE 6# The Beginner
I love beginners! Mainly, because it’s always funny to see how they would react to Marijoinlah when they’re still new to it. They would burst out laughing hysterically and say the weirdest, funniest, and the most inappropriate things. They’re like the entertainment, it’s amusing to see what they would do next. Even though, they can’t roll a proper J yet and tend to ask a lot of questions, we don’t mind having them around because we were once in their shoes too.
TYPE 7# The Overly Cautious and Paranoid
This person always has perfume, Naphcon and shades with him just in case. Whenever you guys blaze, he’s in a constant state of paranoia. He assumes everyone knows what he’s thinking about when he walks outside in public, causing him to stay inside like a hermit. His friends always have to reassure him of his safety and when worse comes to worst, they would have to drag his ass outside because he’s just too paranoid and neurotic to do it himself. He tends to flip out over the littlest things, like, hearing police sirens in a rap song. He needs to calm his tits.
TYPE 8# The Marijoinlah Connoisseur
Unlike TYPE #1, this person actually knows what he’s talking about. He has travelled several countries all over the world and tried a variety of Marijoinlah varieties. He only consumes the finest, and he’s not afraid to share it with others. He is your guidance in determining whether, the Marijoinlah you got is of high quality, or just plain disappointing schwag. He teaches you everything you need to know about Marijoinlah, he’s like a walking, talking Marijoinlah manual. He has a high tolerance, so every session is like teatime for him. Sometimes, he even offers philosophical insight about life and utters words of wisdom.
Have you ever crossed paths with these types of people before? Chances are, you probably have. It takes a huge chunk of time to find like-minded folks that you can easily merge souls with. But until then, try to keep an open mind and appreciate the moments you have during sessions.